with//everything:the formal announcement

September 19, 2010.

5:30pm Sunday service at Hillsong Church

I’ll never forget tonight…

It’s been awhile since I’ve spoken from my heart, so I’m being a little vulnerable right now.

I received an email yesterday with a flight itinerary for my one-way flight home back to the US. Upon opening the email and looking at my schedule, I started crying…a lot. This is it. This is going to end. Leaving Australia seemed so distant and uncertain because there was nothing definite, but now…well, my time here is coming to an end. Over the past 2 months, I have gotten asked countless times about my plans at the end of semester. Majority of the time I would just shrug my shoulders and answer with a simple, “I don’t know” or “I’m leaning towards home, but I don’t really know.”

Honestly, I couldn’t confidently say or make a formal announcement about me going back home to the States. So what do you do when you are confused?? Answer–Go to Jesus. I prayed/vented/cried/whined to God. I just needed peace. I needed God’s voice. I know how me and God work–I ask, I cry, I have a mild freak out–then, He answers. So simply. So clear. So peacefully.

Which brings me to tonight, September 19, 2010. Hillsong CC, Sunday 5:30pm service.

Joel A’bell started the night with an exclamation of faith, saying , THIS could be your night. You can leave here and always say, remember that day? That day. That day that God changed me. That day that I encountered God. That day that I heared His voice.

That day was my day.  

At the end of worship, Jad began to sing out “With Everything.”  I closed my eyes and passionately sang out every lyric. Then, it came. All the sudden I had a flashback to Elevation (NLC’s young adults ministry). It was my last Elevation service before I moved to Sydney. I was so overwhelmed. Brandon Shatswell played “With Everything” as the last song I would sing in an Elevation for the next 2 years. Tears streamed down my face, my hands were raised high…and I received peace about the move to Sydney.

As I remembered that flashback, something just clicked. God said,” I sent you to Sydney–with everything–and I will send you out with everything. I sent you in and I will go out with you.  In and Out, I will be with you. Where I send you, you will go and I will always be with you.”

All I could do was cry. There it is…there is my answer, there is my confirmation, there is my peace. What perfect timing too, hey? God knew my heart brokenness from the estblished itinerary, the set date. How kind is He that He chooses to speak to me during my heart ache??

During the month of August,  I kept reading in Exodus 33 where it says “If Your Presence does not go with us, do not lead us up from there.” I love that God is in the details. Here is my promise…God is always with me.

To top off the night, Pastor Brian spoke a total word in season for me about feeding off God’s faithfulness and dwelling in the land. It’s about time I start to prepare myself to dwell in the land. soon. very soon. All I kept thinking in the service was, “Don’t cry, Lydia! Suck it up!” …I didn’t cry. I just held it in until I got home.

So here it is, the formal announcement: Lydia is leaving Sydney in mid-December and moving back home to the States.  It’s official, and definitely legit. I’m going to passionately pursue God, with everything, wherever He leads me. I’m stepping into the land. I can feel the stretching, the growing, the increase in capacity. It hurts–but God is there. He is totally preparing me for something unknown. It scares me sometimes, but I just remember “…because You’re with me, I will not fear.”

Isn’t it funny how God brings us full circle? What He used to bring me to Sydney is what He is using to bring me to home.   Peace is coming.

Advertisement